Ever been stuck in small talk hell?

That moment at a party where someone’s trying way too hard to sound smart…

They use words like “endeavour,” “synergise,” and “value-driven proposition.”
​
You nod politely, slowly sip your Gin and Tonic… and plan your escape.

That’s what most emails feel like.

Formal. Forgettable. And flat-out boring.

And if your reader senses even a whiff of that vibe?
​
They don’t just scroll past.
They delete and unsubscribe.

So if you want to write emails that feel like real conversations (and actually get read), avoid these 4 killer mistakes (and how to solve them):

MISTAKE #1: Writing Like You’re in Court

Most people write emails like they’re scared of being judged by a jury of LinkedIn lurkers.

They load their writing with big words, play it safe, and drain every ounce of personality out of their message.

Why It Happens:
​
​Fear. Plain and simple.
Fear of sounding “unprofessional.”
Fear of being vulnerable.
Fear of standing out.

It’s like being a kid on the playground again.

Better to blend in than risk a wedgie right?.

The Solution:
​​
​Dinner-party Talk > Corporate speak

Imagine this:
​
You’re at a dinner party. You meet someone cool.
​
You bond over your love for Tarantino flicks, or rant about how modern TV shows have lost the plot.

That convo? You remember it. That’s the energy your emails need.
​
Write like you’re talking to a friend who actually wants to hear what you’ve got to say.

Not like a desperate intern trying to impress the boss.

MISTAKE #2: “We We We” Syndrome

Too many emails read like group therapy for businesses.

We believe…
We provide…
We strive…

Yawn.

It’s like someone talking about themselves in third person:

“Greg thinks Greg has great ideas.”

Cringe, right?

Instead:

​
Make it about them.

Talk to the reader like it’s just the two of you at the pub.

Use “you” 10x more than the word: “we.”

Why?

Because people don’t care about your mission statement.
​
They care about how you’ll make their life better.

Here’s another big fat mistake:

MISTAKE #3: Talking About Your Weed Killer

​
​ Most emails talk endlessly about the product.

The features. The ingredients. The 14-step process behind it.

But no one buys weed killer because of what’s in the bottle.
​
They buy it because the crab grass is ruining their Sunday.

Try this:

Don’t talk about your process. Talk about their problems.

Focus on what they’re dealing with:

“You step out on the lawn… and all you see is patches of green hell choking your garden.”

THAT grabs attention.

Once they feel understood?

Then, and only then, do you show them the fix.

MISTAKE #4: Forgetting It’s a 1-on-1 Conversation

​
​Emails often sound like they’re written to a stadium of strangers.

Too broad. Too generic. Too cold.

That’s why copywriting OGs swear by this one rule…

​
The Rule of One (stolen from the legends)

One Reader: Write like you're speaking to one person​
​One Big Idea: Keep your message laser-focused
​One Clear Action: No clutter, just one thing to do next

When you write like it’s just you and them in the room?

They feel it. They connect. They click.

If you want help writing emails that build trust, sell without sleaze, and feel like a chat between mates…

Not a dry sales pitch cooked up in a marketing committee?

Book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/chrisjonesyy/30-min-call-with-chris​

If not, that’s chill also. Have a great weekend and I'll catch ya later.

Cheers,
​
Chris
@ChrisJonesyy